Have You Tried Turning It Off And On Again?

Permission to start 2016 over again?

I’ve been having pretty much of a rough year. I started working in customer service at the beginning of this to earn more cash to further my business as well as fund my other ventures without having to take out a loan. Within one month I was already planning to take a vacation from my new job. I mean I always knew I’d hate working for someone but words cannot describe how much I loathe this place.

I suffer from depression and anxiety and this place only intensifies it. The greatest source of this comes from home but work is definitely second place. I’ve spent quite a lot of time on sick leave from something I developed from working there which sucks because I only just began earning sick leave benefits. If I’m sick it just means I wouldn’t be earning any money. Which in turn affects the overall goal.

Depression can be described as an emotional black hole where everything that is considered happiness and rainbows goes to die.

So to combat this I’ve created reasons to keep me motivated. I love travelling so bae and I are planning another vacation. We would have loved to travel this year but you have to put in a year of work before you go on vacation. Never have I ever envied a school child until this very moment. We decided do a staycation for my birthday at Santosha which I will visit in another post. We were first deciding to vacation in Egypt but we’re thinking Costa Rica or Rome, Italy. At this point I don’t care where once I leave this place for two or more weeks.

Secondly, I love fashion so I would shop online biweekly as a reward for surviving those two weeks. I’ve heard of retail shopping as a stress reliever but I never took it seriously. Now I wish I had sooner. I’m on hiatus from online purchases for now simply because I have no more room to store my clothes. As soon as that is rectified I’ll be knocking on Laparkan’s warehouse door like an ex that refuses to let go.

From now on, I’m taking a serious stance regarding my mental health. For too long I’ve allowed persons to play with my emotions leaving  me with an intense feeling of numbness. My boyfriend and daughter are supportive for the most part and without them I’m wouldn’t be the person I am today. Fighting this at times feels pointless but I’m doing it for myself and them. Growing up with my grandma I know first hand how depression affects those around you. I’ll fight it by using whatever is necessary.

Did someone say exercise?

Exercising is considered to be stress relieving but when the depress really hits its really hard to get out of bed so I consider it to be middle ground. I guess that’s where music would come in. Music can motivate me to do just about anything and I mean ANYTHING. Which is why I incorporated it in my daily routine to do mundane tasks or even to simply just get ready for work. I’m thinking of trying out some yoga  or revisiting rollerblading but we’ll see how that goes. One step at a time.

In summary, it’ll be trial and error but the main focus (and the whole point) is trying

But seriously, has anyone tried turning 2016 off and on again?!

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