Happy & Nappy


I’ve been natural all my life. My mom never allowed me to straighten my hair as a teenager and when I became an adult the urge to do so wilted over time.

I began my loc journey completely on a whim in 3rd form. After removing my afro kinky braids, I kinda said ‘fuck it’ to the comb and had my hair palm rolled. Never again would I endure the pain of my hair being combed out again.

I completely skipped what I deemed ‘the awkward short loc phase’ by wearing protective braids over my hair. Switching them out over time and only ever wearing my hair without them when my locs became shoulder length.

As a child I idolized having long flowing blonde straight hair. I absolutely hated my hair and the way it wold alwas stick in the comb. It never lay flat, it was always bouncing back up. It was defiant like myself and over time I grew to love my hair texture and all that I could do with it.

One of the best parts of my natural hair journey is being able to share it with my daughter.


We sit together and go through pictures of natural hairstyles for children her age and she tells me what she’d be interested in getting.

I can’t plait cornrows to save my life but she is patient with me and never fails to thank me whenever I do her hair. Even if I put it in a simple ponytail for her to go to school, after she looks at it in the mirror she tells me she thinks it’s beautiful and thanks me with a hug.

I want her to love her hair in the way I wasn’t able to as a child and for that very reason her dad plays an instrumental part in her hair journey. They go to my hairdresser once a month where she sits in the big stylist chair and under the hair dryer… Something she’s extremely fussy about. He takes notes and purchases her hair products. Sometimes he tries to do her hair lol. At least he tries, eh?

I recently purchased a couple natural hair dolls for Ximena and a book about loving one’s natural hair to read for her at bedtime (or anytime really). I cannot express to you how stoked I am to be able to do for her what wasn’t able to be done for me as a child. These are the memories I hope she’ll grow old with and hopefully pass on to her own children if she decides to have any.

But until then, we’re content with being happy and nappy!


The Beginning…

Everything must first begin with a step.

The first step can be scary but so exhilarating.
My first step today is blogging.

I started blogging about three years ago but unfortunately I was inconsistent.
Being a new mom, studying and trying to maintain a social life was extremely time consuming and often months would go without a post being uploaded.
I promise to be more consistent with this one.

So me…
Who am I?

My name is Ronelle, however I go by Xilomen.

What does Xilomen mean?
I have no idea.
I have never been able to find a meaning for the name so instead I decided to create one.


Xilomen (n).
Barbadian activist
Book lover.
Pettiness incarnate.
Fashion stalker.
Pierced and tattooed goddess.
Embodiment of black girl magic.
Mother. Girlfriend. Daughter. Sister. Friend.
Model, Singer & Aspiring Actress.

A brief summary but there is more to come.

What is the blog going to be about?
Me & my life (which also includes my daughter, Ximena.)
Activism, etc.

Stay tuned as that’s all for now… until next blog post!

P.s. Feel free to follow me on the social media accounts listed in my sidebar.